Eight Ways to Bring Back the Love in Your Life & Relationships

Valentine’s Day is a holiday about love, that everyone loves; some of us love to hate it and there are those of us that genuinely love it. When you’re in grade school, it’s a happy time of cards, cupcakes, and candy.

As you get older and it stops being “mandatory” to play nice and treat everyone as equals, Valentine’s Day becomes a battleground between the “haves” and the “have nots”…as in those that have Valentines and those who don’t.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tyler Durden is extremely pissed off as America’s one true love, consumerism, finds Hallmark millions of dollars richer.

Whether you’re single or going steady, love is all around you; you just need to choose to allow and acknowledge it. If you have a steady, you can spice up your love life and rekindle the romance by taking it back to the basics. If you’re single, you may find yourself with a new date or two after your newly adjusted attitude. (No one wants to go on a date with Debbie Downer or Bitter Ben!) But it’s not even about scoring date. It’s about being the glorious being of love that you are.

  1. Valentine’s Day is a reminder to be kinder to ourselves & others. What are some ways you can be kinder to yourself? To others? Put them into practice and GIVE FREELY!
  2. You don’t need a romantic partner to have a love life. You can have a rich love life with yourself, your family, your friends, and or even your pet. Don’t forget to love and appreciate them. Your partner should not be the sole recipient of your affections. In fact, relationships in which a partner is put on a pedestal seldom last. Practice keeping your partner as your equal.
  3. If Cupid is your homeboy and others aren’t fond of him, it costs you nothing to pay them no mind. In fact, send love to the naysayers. Remember that they may be putting up a guard or a defense mechanism to protect themselves and it has nothing to do with you.
  4. Love everyone, all the time. Even if they get on your nerves or rain on your parade. Rain can make for excellent ambiance, if you know what I mean.
  5. Concentrate on making every moment special, every day. One day a year cannot save a relationship. But in that one day, there are 24 hours with 60 minutes each, for a total of 1,440 minutes a day. That’s potential for 1,440 special moments.  There are 365 days a year, each with 1,440 minutes of potential, for a total of 525,600 minutes. That’s 525,600 chances for special moments! Squeeze them in and find the time. A minute here and a minute there will go a long way, baby!
  6. Relationships are mirrors. What we dislike in others are often traits we need to work on within ourselves. Instead of calling your partner out on his/her annoying habits, direct the focus inwards.   Spend less time criticizing and more time loving.
  7. Gratitude is the attitude. Energy flows where awareness goes. What we resist persists. What we focus on flourishes. Choose things that feel good. (I read a story about a woman who trained her husband with positive reinforcement, ie, only acknowledging the behaviors she wanted to see more of. She learned this from a dog training manual, by the way.)
  8. Allow yourself to receive all of the love and support around you! It’s okay. You DESERVE IT, simply because you are here! A lot of us, particularly women, have this difficulty in allowing others to do for us. We don’t know how to simply receive, because we are so caught up in wanting to take care of others. If this is you, go back to step 7 — Gratitude is the attitude. Simply receive with an attitude of gratitude. Sometimes is smiling and saying “Thank you” is all that’s required of you.

There is nothing wrong with love or being in love. And there’s nothing wrong with Valentine’s Day. It is us who chooses not to receive the love that’s in abundance all around us. We can choose differently. Bring the love back into life and bring life back into love!


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